Sunday, November 7, 2010

We're Still Alive, Dude.

We’ve made it thus far haven’t we?

We don’t need anybody else to give us a helping hand.

We’ve taken our blows and taken our hits,

But again and again, straight up we stand.

Receiving and giving, help we’ve shared.

It’s been so long since we’ve heard their voices now.

We call out and they never answer anymore,

The silence we hear, it’s funny just how.

They used to call to us, and we heeded.

They took us for granted, and we patiently listened.

Made us smile, and made us die,

With every tear we wiped, when their eyes glistened.

“No more sorrows,” we were promised,

“No more will we cry in vain,” we swore.

But it’s all gone now, only a deathly calm remains,

And it’s taken us far from the safety of the shore.

Needed each other then, yes we all did.

We needed that escape from the perverseness of the world.

We were each other’s escape.

We comforted in one another as our truths unfurled.

Shame, we have none.

Regrets, nothing that we would change.

We did what we needed to, at every point in our lives,

And that’s made are lives this strange.

What we are now, is what we’ve always wanted to be.

What we are now, is what we’ve chosen.

Who cares what the world thinks, we’ve done it our way,

Memories, both good and bad, are best kept frozen.

So pick yourself up, don’t stoop so low.

Don’t look at the bottom of the glass, look through it.

Don’t look for the sun again, when you know it’s going to rain,

Just take comfort in what you have, and sit right through it.

We’re not the same anymore.

We’ve come so far away from where we were at the start.

But we’re here right now, don’t let us down.

Believe in us now, for we will never part.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Don’t take this away from me.

I deserve it. I know I do.

So do you.

So just stop pretending to be the saint here. And leave me the fuck alone.

You’re the one who killed it. You’re the one who strangled every last ounce of patience out.

I can’t fight these daily battles with myself anymore. I’ve bled enough to feed a thousand vultures. Yes. The same scavenging fucks that circled overhead as we tore each other apart, waiting to strike; waiting for that moment of weakness that YOU gave them.

You dragged us down, scraped our hearts all over the thorns that covered the ground. Cut deep within us wounds that will take a million eons to heal.

And still I remained by your side. Never complaining. Never wavering. Never letting go, even when it was just me holding on to a fraction of your fingertips, just so that we’d never have to fall.

But we did. And guess who let go?

You took me through to the highest high I’ve ever felt. And then threw me over the edge.

Screw you and your fucking principles. I don’t need them.

I'm not the bad guy. I'm just the grown up, who saw just how fucking immature you really are. and I pity myself for letting a kid like you take away so much from me.

P.S. Your friends suck.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bye Bye

I don't know why I sang to her,
I couldn't just resist.
I don't know why I danced for her,
I don't know what I missed.

I don't know why it seemd so right,
When everything was wrong.
I don't know why I stayed back,
For so fucking long.

I don't know what it was,
But it wasn't something good.
I don't know why it happened,
I never thought it would.

I should've never let you in,
I should've never let you be mine.
I should've never let you touch my heart,
I should've never thought you're divine.

So don't pretend like I gave you shit,
'Cause you're the one who let us die.
I'm done with feeling shame and regret,
It's finally time to say goodbye.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Let Me Be

No more tears will fall from these eyes of mine,
Done with feeling so much pain and hate.
No more will I be scared to cross that line,
I'm ready now, to accept my fate.

'Cuz without you I thought I could never live,
Nothing more inside that's left to give.
But now, I don't need you.
So just let me be.

You took my heart from the very depths inside,
Showed it how love can be both happiness and pain.
We flew so high; we touched the sky,
Then you tore us apart, and fell down with the rain.

'Cuz without you I thought I could never live,
Nothing more inside that's left to give.
But now, I don't need you.
So just let me be.

Only You

I'm not the person you want me to be,
I can't change what's inside of me.
Living in darkness is all I know,
It takes my all just to let it go.

Only You are worth the fall,
For you, I'd leave it all.
I need you to tell me what to do,
'Cuz I'm happy with Only You.

Made mistakes and hurt you bad,
Though I tried to never make you sad.
Drowned in sin, fooled myself again,
But now I never wanna drown again.

Only You are worth the fall,
For you, I'd leave it all.
I need you to tell me what to do,
'Cuz I'm happy with Only You.

Take me where you are,
No matter how far...
I'll be the one for you to see,
You will set me free...

Once Again

Here I am, once again
Singing with the silence.
Losing heart, but not my mind,
Resisting with defiance.
Lost and found, once again
Making this life turn,
Around on its back again.
Your love, I must earn.

Once again these tears fall down,
Once again I'm on the ground.
Once again You pull me through,
Once again I fall for you.

Finding ways, once again
To clear up all this mess.
Trying to make you believe
I'll be the one, I must confess.

Once again these tears fall down,
Once again I'm on the ground.
Once again You pull me through,
Once again I fall for you.

You look at me, once again
With eyes that shine so bright,
And take away my painful sins,
Steal my heart into the night.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Yeah? Well, fuck you too.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The "Grown Up" Thing To Do

Not so long ago, when we were still kids,
You told us to do our best, and that's what we did.
Though it probably wasn't enough,
You still loved us just as much.

Through the years we've learnt, through you,
What makes us the people we are and what we do.
And now that we're all grown up, no longer kids,
Don't think we won't need you, like we always did.

You'll always be our mentors, our guides,
From whom we learned never to hide,
But to stand up victorious against the odds and say,
"All we did was love and pray."

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Lines out of the SuperNothing.

Running through this field of death, dodging damnation with a smile.

Finding a lone rose on my right; I can't reach it, but, I don't lose sight of it.

Fear is long gone, but guilt takes its place.

Guilt moves on and the page is erased.

Emptiness and rage have burned me down, but from the ashes hope lifts me up.

Dealt with death and dealt with longer feeling.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Being Somebody

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to do something. Something worthwhile, that would make people stop and admire my work. You know, make a name for myself. I didn’t want to be just anybody. I wanted to be somebody.

I remember watching Jurassic Park as a kid and thinking to myself, “Someday, I’m gonna be a paleontologist.” I told that to my dad. What did he say about that? “Paleontologist? Hahaha! Now watch Superman and tell me you want to be him next! Ha!” I did.

Twelve years on, I’m not a paleontologist. Neither am I Superman. Batman would’ve seemed a more realistic dream, but what the heck did I know about building a Batmobile then? I’m still not who I want to be. My life so far has been one roller coaster ride of joy, sadness, pain, excitement, alcohol, death, hate and love; dejection and vodka go so well together.

I see people around me, but do they really exist? Lying, cheating bitching, backstabbing; “Fake” is what defines society today. Friends are the people you’re supposed to depend upon when you’re in need? No thanks. In the words of the not-so-great Nicholas Cage portraying the kind-of-cliché-but-cool Cameron Poe in the movie Con Air, “Sorry boss, but there’s only two men I trust. One of them's me. The other's not you.” Damn, I love that movie.

Call me a loner, a cynic. I am. I just don’t see the point in putting all your trust in people who wouldn’t take a bullet for you even after you did for them. Too scared of their own limitation. What limitations? Limitations only exist when you create them for yourselves. You need courage to be your own person.

So where am I getting at with all of this? Well, here’s a hint: Grow up. People make mistakes. Who doesn’t? Some people make the same mistake over and over again. And again. And again. Case in point – Me. It took me 12 months to realize what a prick I had been. But in the end I did come to that realization. I did confront myself. And I’ve changed. I’m not a prick anymore. I’m not asking you to be my BFF either. Just accept me. Acknowledge my existence.

But wait, don’t get all emo just yet, I’m not done.

So, finally, here I am now, sorry for my mistake, happy to be alive and ready to face my future. Alone? If I have to. I’m glad I made those mistake. I’m glad I hurt those people. I’m glad those people hurt me. I’m glad to be the only person I trust. I’m glad I’m not Superman. Because if it wasn’t for all of that, I wouldn’t be here right now. At the apex of my life. Letting go. Being free. Being somebody.

Saturday, January 9, 2010


Silence now, nothing left to say
We've made it through our worst day
Bruised and hurt from blows we've taken
Truths to which we've finally awakened

We built so much on lies and deceit
Hidden who we are deep under our feet
Struggled, in vain, to keep them away
Finally out in the open to stay

Both of us lied to ourselves and each other
Fooled only ourselves, not one another
But here we are now, open and true
On either side of this line that we drew

Anger and Love, Hate and Desire
Eyes welling up, yet hearts on fire
Wondering in silence what to choose
Waiting to see who makes the first move

Killing the noise of the deafening silence
We reach for each other, resisting defiance
The only truth, we realize as our lips met
Is to choose love, and not regret.