Thursday, September 26, 2013

"Empty" Promises

I haven’t made promises to anyone, let alone myself in a long time. Because I know I’d never be able to keep them.
Call me selfish; yeah, I probably am. Over the past couple of years I’ve trained myself to think about myself above and beyond anything else (Speaking of Above and Beyond, I need free passes. Somebody please have them delivered to “Under The Bridge, Domlur”. Speaking of Under The Bridge, I really want to see RHCP live at least twice in my lifetime. And hopefully play a tribute concert to them with my as-of-now-nonexistent band).

If I wanted to, I could say I’ve done that because I’ve been hurt too many times in the past and now I have trust issues and can’t stand the thought of getting out of my own zone. But that would be a lie.

I’ve done that because I just felt like it. I’m tired of hanging on to words and waiting on people who never really will get me or understand me the way I do. I could never imagine living and seeing someone 24x7 because I’d get bored of them in no time and possibly even begin to hate every single move they make. I just can’t keep up with everyone else’s lives when I’ve got so many plans of my own to fulfill, so many dreams to chase down and live. It just doesn’t seem right to give them up for someone else.

I wish I could think and feel that way, but I just can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still the nicest guy you’d meet, willing to do you a favor without asking anything in return, nor keep a tab on the number of times I’ve pulled your ass out of a shithole and not care about those IOUs you owe me (or maybe that’s just because I lost count after 937). Just don’t expect me to make you a priority over me.

Because I can’t and I won’t.

Except maybe you, gorgeous. Buy you a drink?

Gotcha! Just kidding, bro, you shoulda seen the look on your face!

Phew, I almost got myself there. Thought I was done with this rant; apparently not.

So instead, let me tell you what I can do for you: I’ll take you out, I’ll be as close to selfless as I can be and I’ll be the best damn thing that’s ever come into your life. The difference between a selfless guy and me – I won’t be left picking up any pieces if and when things end. I’ll be moving on to the next person who needs me.

Now that's a promise.